Spoiler Alert

I am pretty sure I am the most spoiled person there is.  I am sitting here on my lunch break writing a blog.  I am starving.  I am tired.  I am stressed.  I have worked 4 12 hour shifts.  I am not looking forward to tomorrow after only 4 hours of sleep for 2 1/2 days.  And I don't really do anything but complain.

But let's put everything into perspective.  I am on my lunch.  Which means I am eating.  Not only am I eating but I have a full meal plus desert.  I am tired.  But the four hours I slept I slept in a very comfortable bed with a roof over my head, blankets, the option of warm clothes.  When I was not sleeping I was grocery shopping.  For food I did not really need but I thought would be nice to have over the weekend.  I am working 4 12 hour shits so I can afford a vacation to Disney Land and a beach on a plane and in a nice hotel.  Tomorrow I get to spend all day with the most amazing little boy I know doing what we love, yard work, soccer, and shopping.  Oh yea shopping.  I have enough money to spend on something that I need but not really.  I have a job that I love, family that supports me, a car to transport me.

And yet, all I do is complain.  I forget how much I have an focus on what I do not have.  I forget how much I have to loose and focus on how much I want to gain.  I forget how much God has blessed me with and focus on how much Satan is trying to take.  My joy, my peace, my patience.  All of that is stolen because I am to selfish to look past myself. 

I always say my biggest desire is to bring Him glory.  I always say that I want my life to show other's His love.  And that is honestly what my heart yearns to do.  But when I focus on myself and not on Him I am letting the enemy win this battle. Granted he already lost the war for me but he still revels in any chance he can to take the light off Jesus and put shadow over my heart. 

But I refuse to let this stay my normal.  This will no longer be my pattern.  When I start to loose sight of what matters I am going stop and refocus.  Focus on all that Jesus has done for me.  But not just for me but for the ones that I love and the ones that I don't know.  The reality is that I have Jesus and that is all that I need.  Everything else is just icing on a very delicious cake.