Can I have you?

I am frustrated. I am frustrated at myself. I am frustrated at superficial faith that seems to be prominent in my life. Oh sure, I love God, but I like to doubt. Oh sure I love God, but I love myself more. More than the person sitting in the room with me. More than the baby sleeping in the room next to us. More than the homeless man sitting on the corner. More than that teenager who has no idea who God are and His love for her because of the abuse she has suffered at the hands of her father her whole life. Oh sure, I love God, but let me keep this thing that I can live with out. Oh sure, I want God to take my sin, but let me just keep this one little sin. It is not hurting any one. My greed, lust, anger, laziness, worry, it hurts no one so I will just hold on to it.

I need to give myself a wake up call. My greed keeps others from the blessings that the Lord has for them. My lust for things I dont have just throws what I have been given back in the face of those who gave/provided a way to make it possible. My anger is lashed out on two of the most amazing man/boy that I know. My laziness just adds stress to my life and those in it. My worry is basically killing me and I know that would not be easy for a lot of people.

Most importantly it hurts my savior. Yea, that man who died. That perfect man. He never sinned. Ohhhhh he was tempted let me tell you, well the Bible can tell you, but He chose not to sin. That man who took all of the sin in the world. That man who was sweating blood because he knew what was going to happen. But what where some of his last words?

Let me tell you. He prayed that what ever it was that he had to do that the Lord take it away, but if it is his will then he will do it. He was not just talking about a physical death. He could have handled that. He was sweating blood over the fact that for a brief period of time, he was COMPLETELY separated from the Father and the Holy spirit. Why you ask? Well because of my sin. Because of your sin. Yea that sin you refuse to let go of. Yea that one.. That one you try to hide from him. Yea that one... That one that is pulling you further and further away from the relationship he has in store with him for you. Yea that one...

Why do we like to hurt him? Why does it bring us so much pleasure to us that we chose to break his heart all over again. You know the reason why he died? So he could be close to us forever. The reason why he died is so that we would never have to feel that complete separation for eternity. That separation that made him so scared and stressed that he sweated blood. Are you going to chose to let your sin separate you from the ONE perfect man? Or are you going to lay it at the cross where it belongs.

Let it go. All the pain and suffering you think you need to keep. All the greed and lust that you think you can't stop. All the hurt caused by your "fathers" hands. All the hurt caused by those who "love you". All the control we think we need to have. Lay it there. Let yourself be free from it and live in Him. He gives you his spirit. The love, hope, power, grace, forgiveness. All you have to do is ask and receive and use... He is at your door and knocking. Asking you "Can I have you? All of you? Even the ugly? Especially the awesome. Can I have you?"