Pursued

I was having a conversation with this really good friend of mine about boys...  You see we are both kind of in the same boat.  She wants a family but she refuses to "make the first move".  Me, I want a family but I am a little gun shy and tend to either attract all wrong people or scare off all the right ones.  But the common theme in our conversation is that we both want to be pursued.  We want whom ever it is that we have a relationship with to "step up" and initiate the interactions.  And we are both stubborn enough to wait for that.  Her because that is how she was raised and what she saw, me because I have been in relationships where I was the only one changing and the only one making any effort and I won't do that again.

When I talk or think about what I wanted out of the relationships I had my ultimate desire was to be pursued and ultimately feel loved. I think that is an innate desire for most people, especially woman.   We have ended relationships because we did not feel pursued and we have entered into relationships that were totally wrong for us because the person was chasing us with fervor.  Let me give you two personal examples.  The last serious relationship I had lasted about two years.  It ended for a slew of reasons but the main was because he made no attempt to connect with Kole and I.  I just couldn't keep up the constant trying when I was not really getting any response.  OOORRR the last guy who actually pursued me (by pursue I mean more than just casual flirting, like hey I want to see you, I want to get to know you so I am going to annoy the death out of you to so I can get your attention) was married with three kids and was totally manipulating everyone around him. But, I responded because I noticed his intense desire to be around me.

So here I am.  Stubborn and single.  But I am not alone.  You see, just as I have these examples that did not turn out as I had hoped, I have an example that is beyond beautiful.  I have been pursued my entire life.  Every circumstance I have been in there has been the aching feeling that there is something beyond all these distractions Trying to get my attention.  There has been this presence standing at my door and knocking, you know that annoying I am going to bug you and harass you until  you respond to me.  That relationship that was imagined before creation, prepared on a cross, started when I was alone and afraid, and will be completed when I finally get to see His face.  I am the bride of Christ.  I have been His constant desire, His unending pursuit.  My only responsibility was to respond to His suit.

There is this saying out there that says to be with someone who sees all of your flaws and chooses to love you in-spite of them.  He is that someone.  He tells me I am ENOUGH just the way I am.  He also tells me that He loves me ENOUGH to not leave me the way I am.


So I will stay stubborn and single and satisfied.  I will stay this way because my deepest desire is already being fulfilled by Him who has pursued me and will continue to pursue.  One who meets my need for Love in a way that no one else could because He is the author of love, and quite frankly no man is ever going to be able to compare.  I have ENOUGH just the way He is.