I Think I Can Live With That

Last night Courtney and I were watching The Patriot.  There was this one guy that was completly evil.  He murdered two kids and many innocent people.  But, no matter how hard people tried, they just could not stop him.  I have seen the movie so I knew how it ended, but I couldn't help but wish that it was him getting hurt or killed instead of all the other innocent people. 

To some people, that makes me seem heartless and not very loving at all, but I think most people would be lying to themsleves and others if they said their initial thought process was not along the same lines.  But that got me thinking, just as much that vial man deserved to die, so do I.  I may not be going around killing everyone in sight, or molesting children, stealing from the poor, what have you.  But, I do lie, worry, stray from what I know to be truth.  I often make decisions I will regret later and more times than not, I disregard this temple that He gave me for my short time here. 

Rabbit Trail Alert:  I understand that are views on either side of the argument, either all sin is the same and it doesnt matter what it was, or there are sins that are worse than others and will not be judged the same.  To be honest I do not know where I stand.  I think it hard to feel that all sin is equal in most everyone's thought process.  I mean, I can forgive my neighbor for lying to me a lot easier than iw ould be able to forgive them if they came over and held a gun to my sons head to steal all of our belongings (I do not have a neighbor who would do that!)  The point of this blog is not to debate which idea is correct.

My point is that all sin, no matter how small or how evil, will sepearte us from our Father.  He is perfect, and can not be in the presence of those who have sinned.  Which really sucks because I am going to fail, literally everyday. I am going to screw up, stumble, fall.  There is no way I can be perfect.  I have tried.  I find myself falling into this thought process that if only I could stop sinning then my life would fall into place. I would have enough money, find someone to marry, have another baby, all of my desires would come to pass because my behavior was perfect so it would make God grant all of my desires. 

But the Truth of the matter is, we deserve death, but we are granted life.  Life because Jesus, the pure and spotless lamb, died in our place.  We will all experience physical death, but some of us are living in a spirtual death while they are still alive.  The type of life where there is no hope for tomorrw, there is no peace, joy, love.  The type of life where  everything seems like its fine, but there is no real purpose. 

I deserved the death on the ccross, but Jesus took it for me.  I have done nothing that is really frowned upon, but I sitll sinned and still can not be in the presences of all that goodness and glory.  But, the second I chose to turn my life over to Christ, I was alive.  I have hope for the future, it may not be what I envisioned, it may never include a signifcant other and more children, but it will include an eternity with my Father and my Saviour.  I think I can live with that.