I hate this feeling. I get it every so often and I absolutely wish I would stop getting it. It is so emotionally draining. And physically too! I felt fine this morning when I woke up. Then this feeling hits... I see a couple things and all of the sudden my stomach hurts, I get all tense. It is so frustrating.
I hate sin. I hate what it does to me, I hate what it does to the who ever is sinning. I know we are to expect it. I mean everyone is going to sin right? I am an imperfect creature, I am bound to screw up? When you know that someone struggles with something, you know that you are going to battle with it, right?
Sometimes I wonder? Really? There are some sins that are just completely choice. You sit there and say before you do it "I probably should not do this but oh heck what is this one time?" Or you justify it. This is not that bad, no one will know... Or we take advantage of Grace. We know we are going to be forgiven so we do it anyways with no thought to the ramifications. Oh but wait there won't be any because no one will find out... There you go, an open door. An open door for "one more time"
The Bible states that we are new creations in Christ. When we accept salvation we are to leave the old life behind. But how many of us actually do that? How many of us live everyday to leave our old selves behind? Who has really really repented and overcame. Many of us like to think we have, but then we keep breaking God's heart with the same dang thing. What is so attractive of our old selves that we have to hold on to it? I mean we were ugly hurtful, deceitful, disgusting creatures. The only thing awesome about us is Christ. The only thing worth holding on to is Christ. The only thing in you worth praise or gratification is the Holy Spirit. Why do you keep letting your ugly self shine through and leave the pure beauty waiting, hidden by sin?
I am sick and tired of sin, I am going to do something about it. I am going to lay it at the foot of the cross. I am going to confess it to Jesus my Lord who already paid the price for it. Then I am going to make the choice to pray when I know that I am about to sin. I am going to make the choice to read my Bible so I know more about the only thing worth holding on to. I am going to make the choice to flee when the temptation is to great.
Are you?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Where to start?
I try to stay away from this topic. In all of my blogging I do not think I have talked about it once. I may have written about aspects of it, but never have I given advice on the actual topic. I am not expert. I have been through a lot it in, and have come a far way in it. But, by no means am I any expert or do I feel qualified to give advice on marriage.
But I have had this urge, itch, burn, whatever you want to call it to write this. I actually prayed that if the Lord helped me fall asleep soon I would write it. Five minuets later I was dreaming... Silly I know, but I had my answer. So here I am. Giving advice on a topic that I fail so miserably at every day.
I have written many blogs. But I love to read other blogs so much more. And I have ready a few on marriage. A few have talked about how to change your marriage or make it more "Godly". Some talk about how it is the mans responsibility to love their wives as the church first. Men are supposed to take that first step. Others have discussed how it is the women's responsibility to respect first. Then the men will follow in their relationship with Christ. Both are biblical, one found in Ephesians and one found in Philippins (I believe... I did not do all my research but it is found in that "area" of the bible :))
We each have our own responsibility in our marriages and they do have to start somewhere. If your man is not loving you the way he should, we as wives still have the responsibility to respect our husbands. Husbands, even if your wives do not respect you they way they should, you still have a responsibility to love your wives as Christ loves the church.
But, what if there was a different starting place? A starting place on based on imperfect humans, but based on something or someone perfect? What if we all started with Christ? What if the real starting point was there and everything else followed? We are to love because Christ loved first. So I wonder if maybe we should start there. Start with Christs' love for us and then work on the rest. What if we love Christ first.
Then what? We bask in Christ's love but what comes after that? Well I think we have to respond to that love. Respond in prayer, respond in spending more time in the word. After we are filled with Him, I think it is then we will be more able to fulfill our roles as spouses.
I do not want any one to misunderstand me. I know that life happens and we are sinners. I know that the best laid plans will fall short. I know that there is no one way to make a marriage work. But there is one Person who can make a marriage work and work in a way that makes it AWESOME. Since a marriage is supposed to a model of Chrit's love for us I really do think it was meant to be something pretty special. But again, it is a union between two sinners so it can not be all that it was intended for. But I do think that the more time each individual spends starting with Christ first, the stronger more amazing, more special any marriage can be.
So maybe try a diff starting point in your marriage. Do not start with yourself, or expect your spouse to make the first move. Focus on Christ then let him lead you in the rest of it. Good luck :)
But I have had this urge, itch, burn, whatever you want to call it to write this. I actually prayed that if the Lord helped me fall asleep soon I would write it. Five minuets later I was dreaming... Silly I know, but I had my answer. So here I am. Giving advice on a topic that I fail so miserably at every day.
I have written many blogs. But I love to read other blogs so much more. And I have ready a few on marriage. A few have talked about how to change your marriage or make it more "Godly". Some talk about how it is the mans responsibility to love their wives as the church first. Men are supposed to take that first step. Others have discussed how it is the women's responsibility to respect first. Then the men will follow in their relationship with Christ. Both are biblical, one found in Ephesians and one found in Philippins (I believe... I did not do all my research but it is found in that "area" of the bible :))
We each have our own responsibility in our marriages and they do have to start somewhere. If your man is not loving you the way he should, we as wives still have the responsibility to respect our husbands. Husbands, even if your wives do not respect you they way they should, you still have a responsibility to love your wives as Christ loves the church.
But, what if there was a different starting place? A starting place on based on imperfect humans, but based on something or someone perfect? What if we all started with Christ? What if the real starting point was there and everything else followed? We are to love because Christ loved first. So I wonder if maybe we should start there. Start with Christs' love for us and then work on the rest. What if we love Christ first.
Then what? We bask in Christ's love but what comes after that? Well I think we have to respond to that love. Respond in prayer, respond in spending more time in the word. After we are filled with Him, I think it is then we will be more able to fulfill our roles as spouses.
I do not want any one to misunderstand me. I know that life happens and we are sinners. I know that the best laid plans will fall short. I know that there is no one way to make a marriage work. But there is one Person who can make a marriage work and work in a way that makes it AWESOME. Since a marriage is supposed to a model of Chrit's love for us I really do think it was meant to be something pretty special. But again, it is a union between two sinners so it can not be all that it was intended for. But I do think that the more time each individual spends starting with Christ first, the stronger more amazing, more special any marriage can be.
So maybe try a diff starting point in your marriage. Do not start with yourself, or expect your spouse to make the first move. Focus on Christ then let him lead you in the rest of it. Good luck :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Are you willing?
I wonder if anyone else finds it interesting that I have a test to study for and all of the sudden I have the urge to write a blog?
Procrastination? Probably.
Avoidance? Defiantly!!
You see just four weeks ago I bombed a test in this class. If I do not maintain a certain test grade from here on out, I will be out of the program... :( I should probably be studying...
But I have had something on my heart lately.
I am not sure how many of you know about bipolar. I actually just learned about it in this class that I am probably going to fail :(. But what I did learn, and how it applies to some people I know, astounds me.
Did you know that it is highly unlikely for a person to be diagnosed with bipolar? In fact, only about 3.9% of people will be diagnosed with bipolar, with most of those cases starting at age 18 & up. It is even more unlikely for a teen to be diagnosed. EVEN MORE UNLIKELY FOR A 10 YEAR OLD TO BE DIAGNOSED. I know a woman who was diagnosed and two of her children. One just 14 when diagnosed and the other just 10!
What does this tell you?
Well it hints at a strong genetic tie, but it also tells me that this family needs Jesus. Not that bipolar is not a legitimate diagnosis, but that there is a strong genetic AND environmental impact on this illness. People who are continually in a stressful environment are more likely to develop bipolar. Please do not misunderstand me, being a Christian does NOT remove all stress. But it adds a hope that was not there before. It adds a Helper that we were not aware of before. If you read the verse at the top of this blog it will give you a good example of what Christians have that those who do not know Christ can not obtain... YET.
I want those who read this blog to leave with two things.
1) I have been complaining a lot lately about how hard my life is. I am sure most of us have times like this. We think that we are given a really tough load. Through it all we lose sight of the Hope we have in Christ and the Guy who took our burdens from us. We have eternity with a joy that can not be surpassed, a hope that is never ending, and a love that is beyond fulfilling. What is a couple weeks of misery when we have that to look forward to? I know so many people who are going through so much more and take it like a champ while oblivious to the Hell that waits after. If only they knew what TRUE hope is. If only they knew what REAL joy is. If only we are able to get over our own temporary hardships to show them what Christ has waiting for them.
2) Notice the YET? These people that I know with this disorder have hurt us beyond what we think we can handle. But what if our forgiveness is the one thing that will show them Christ's love? What if that person you see screwing up everyday just needs some one to show them who Christ is? We are not the judge of people. We have no power over that person's eternity. We have no right to sit here and say that that person does not deserve a relationship with me because they sinned to much. It only took ONE sin to send Jesus to the Cross. Who are you to say that some one's one sin is worse than your many sins? Who am I to say I can not forgive a person when Jesus forgave all? Who are we other than God's workmanship sent here to do His good work?
We have this gift. A gift of Hope, Joy and Love that only grows the more it is shared. Jesus said behold I stand that the door and knock. Probably most of you answered that door. Now it is our job to step out or our opened door and be the hands of feet of Jesus. Who knows, maybe your voice, action, and/or forgiveness will be the sound of Jesus' knocking on someone else's' door...
Are you willing to find out?
Procrastination? Probably.
Avoidance? Defiantly!!
You see just four weeks ago I bombed a test in this class. If I do not maintain a certain test grade from here on out, I will be out of the program... :( I should probably be studying...
But I have had something on my heart lately.
I am not sure how many of you know about bipolar. I actually just learned about it in this class that I am probably going to fail :(. But what I did learn, and how it applies to some people I know, astounds me.
Did you know that it is highly unlikely for a person to be diagnosed with bipolar? In fact, only about 3.9% of people will be diagnosed with bipolar, with most of those cases starting at age 18 & up. It is even more unlikely for a teen to be diagnosed. EVEN MORE UNLIKELY FOR A 10 YEAR OLD TO BE DIAGNOSED. I know a woman who was diagnosed and two of her children. One just 14 when diagnosed and the other just 10!
What does this tell you?
Well it hints at a strong genetic tie, but it also tells me that this family needs Jesus. Not that bipolar is not a legitimate diagnosis, but that there is a strong genetic AND environmental impact on this illness. People who are continually in a stressful environment are more likely to develop bipolar. Please do not misunderstand me, being a Christian does NOT remove all stress. But it adds a hope that was not there before. It adds a Helper that we were not aware of before. If you read the verse at the top of this blog it will give you a good example of what Christians have that those who do not know Christ can not obtain... YET.
I want those who read this blog to leave with two things.
1) I have been complaining a lot lately about how hard my life is. I am sure most of us have times like this. We think that we are given a really tough load. Through it all we lose sight of the Hope we have in Christ and the Guy who took our burdens from us. We have eternity with a joy that can not be surpassed, a hope that is never ending, and a love that is beyond fulfilling. What is a couple weeks of misery when we have that to look forward to? I know so many people who are going through so much more and take it like a champ while oblivious to the Hell that waits after. If only they knew what TRUE hope is. If only they knew what REAL joy is. If only we are able to get over our own temporary hardships to show them what Christ has waiting for them.
2) Notice the YET? These people that I know with this disorder have hurt us beyond what we think we can handle. But what if our forgiveness is the one thing that will show them Christ's love? What if that person you see screwing up everyday just needs some one to show them who Christ is? We are not the judge of people. We have no power over that person's eternity. We have no right to sit here and say that that person does not deserve a relationship with me because they sinned to much. It only took ONE sin to send Jesus to the Cross. Who are you to say that some one's one sin is worse than your many sins? Who am I to say I can not forgive a person when Jesus forgave all? Who are we other than God's workmanship sent here to do His good work?
We have this gift. A gift of Hope, Joy and Love that only grows the more it is shared. Jesus said behold I stand that the door and knock. Probably most of you answered that door. Now it is our job to step out or our opened door and be the hands of feet of Jesus. Who knows, maybe your voice, action, and/or forgiveness will be the sound of Jesus' knocking on someone else's' door...
Are you willing to find out?
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Caring
Blogs can be so therapeutic. They can help with processing everything and help with healing. But the times that you need to write one but do not really want the whole world knowing your personal crap can be quite tricky. Because, if you think about it, there are very few people who actually care. I mean fully care like Christ does. It is kind of interesting to see the dynamic in caring as well. In nursing school we learn about caring in the first semester. We learn about how its the one thing that it takes to make a good nurse. You can know everything there is to know about nursing but if you don't care you are not going to get good patient outcomes.
Often caring is so skewed. We either care in the good times or we care in the bad times or we don't care at all. You know those people who are always there for you when life is great. They have fun laughing with you, but when times get tough they pull away. Or those people who are there for you in really really hard times but you never hear from them again until something really really bad happens again. Or those people who are there all the time but never really engaged with anything about you. It is all about them and never about anyone else.
It takes a really special person to care through everything. A person who is there for the highs and the lows. A person who truly cares about everything going on in your life. It takes Jesus Christ. You can care in your own strength, but that caring soon becomes skewed. If it is not skewed, it does not take long until that person becomes bitter and cold and burned-out. Only a life that is given over to be filled with Christ every day can say that they are truly caring for those around them.
Most people who read this will just read it. They will not care about what is written or the person writing it. They will only care about what is going to happen after they finish reading these worthless words. But if you do care the way Christ does you will show it. Show that you care by putting others before yourself. Show that you care by laughing with a friend or crying with a stranger. Show that you care by telling everyone you can about Jesus Christ and the way he cares for them.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Treasure
You know that commercial about the boy who has his girlfriend take off her shoes before she gets in the car? It is about the boys first love not being the girl but his car. I laugh every time I see it because I find it a little over the top. But the more I think about it, the more I see some truth behind it.
I find this commercial heartbreaking because it reminds me of a lot of real situations. It makes me think of how people take more stock in their possessions than in their relationships, especially their relationship with Christ. We spend so much time with our TVs, computers, phones, IPads, and so on, that by the end of the day we have not spent any time in the word or in prayer. We spend so much time making sure that our homes are clean and all the while our souls are becoming dirtier and dirtier. We spend so much time trying to make more money that we have not time to give to those in need. We spend so much time trying to let others see how cool we are that we forget to show the love of God.
It all kind of trickles down too. Not only do we not have enough time for what should be the most important aspect of our lives, we do not have enough time for our loved ones. We go all day filling these empty desires that we have not energy to put into our God-given relationships. Our spouses go forgotten about. We have not energy to talk or spend quality time with them. Our children go ignored or left to fend for themselves with not real quality interaction there either. Our friends go wondering if we even care. Unbelievers go unsaved because we can't take the time to show them who Christ really is.
In Matthew 6:11 it states "where your treasure is there your heart will be also". So I ask where is your treasure? Is it with Christ and everything he stands for? Or is it with yourself and possessions that are just going to burn any ways?
I find this commercial heartbreaking because it reminds me of a lot of real situations. It makes me think of how people take more stock in their possessions than in their relationships, especially their relationship with Christ. We spend so much time with our TVs, computers, phones, IPads, and so on, that by the end of the day we have not spent any time in the word or in prayer. We spend so much time making sure that our homes are clean and all the while our souls are becoming dirtier and dirtier. We spend so much time trying to make more money that we have not time to give to those in need. We spend so much time trying to let others see how cool we are that we forget to show the love of God.
It all kind of trickles down too. Not only do we not have enough time for what should be the most important aspect of our lives, we do not have enough time for our loved ones. We go all day filling these empty desires that we have not energy to put into our God-given relationships. Our spouses go forgotten about. We have not energy to talk or spend quality time with them. Our children go ignored or left to fend for themselves with not real quality interaction there either. Our friends go wondering if we even care. Unbelievers go unsaved because we can't take the time to show them who Christ really is.
In Matthew 6:11 it states "where your treasure is there your heart will be also". So I ask where is your treasure? Is it with Christ and everything he stands for? Or is it with yourself and possessions that are just going to burn any ways?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I think this is my favorite topic :)
I am not really sure where this blog will end. I have a lot on my heart. Mainly due to this last week and a half. You know those times in life when things just kinda start falling apart. Nothing huge mind you, but still enough to bring you down. In the past week my questions have ranged from "Am I going to make it out of nursing school" to "Do I need to take Kole to the ER" and every one in between. There is nothing in my life that was not touched by stress.
Its kinda funny if you think about it. It's always this time of year. I will not go into much detail, but 3 yrs ago this time of year something bad happened, then again a year later, and then again a year later! This time it is nothing horrible, not any where near like the years before, but it def. has not been easy.
I look at my reaction through all of the "experiences". The first year I got prego, the next year I got mad at God, the next year I was almost divorced then grew closer to the Lord in a way that I had not done in the past. This year again I am pulling away. I find it amazing how things can change from wanting to bring Glory to the Lord to what can the Lord do for me. And if he does not pull through with what I want, I pull away. Then I just start sinning more, then I keep pulling away. It is a never ending cycle.
I remember what it felt like to have my heart in the right place. How these little things did not matter as much. I knew I was on the right track. I was able to love better, more, and those who are hard to love. When I lose sight of bringing him glory it all changes. I start doubting a lot of things but mostly I doubt that my saviour still loves me. And not only that but I also start doubting that others deserve that love.
But isn't that what this Love is all about. Love for those who do not deserve it. I am talking about those Christians who are still stuck in their sin. Or those who do pretty good most of the time, but inevitably fail. I am also talking about those people who do not know Christ.
I think that the best way to bring Glory to the Lord is to show His love to those who do not deserve it and who do not know it. That job of course only belongs to the holy spirit and those that he has called. He may have called you a LONG time ago and you have grown deeper and deeper in relationship with Him. He may have called you a LONG time ago but you are just now getting down the the nitty-gritty of your relationship with Him. He may have called you just yesterday. None of these time frames gives us an excuse to not show His love. We need to show his love to our closest friends or meanest strangers. We need to show his love to those who we think have no hope and/or those who we have tried to do so many times and they ignore. Christian/Non-Christian, young/old, anyone deserves to be shown love, because none of deserve God's love. Its not up us who to show His love to, its up to the Holy spirit and I am pretty sure that if he had it his way, it would be everyone :)
Now for those who happen to be reading this who do not know His love, you have a choice to make. I encourage you to make it now. If you do not know how to go about it, e-mail me or message me on FB. You can have this love too.
And for the rest of you, get to loving you
Its kinda funny if you think about it. It's always this time of year. I will not go into much detail, but 3 yrs ago this time of year something bad happened, then again a year later, and then again a year later! This time it is nothing horrible, not any where near like the years before, but it def. has not been easy.
I look at my reaction through all of the "experiences". The first year I got prego, the next year I got mad at God, the next year I was almost divorced then grew closer to the Lord in a way that I had not done in the past. This year again I am pulling away. I find it amazing how things can change from wanting to bring Glory to the Lord to what can the Lord do for me. And if he does not pull through with what I want, I pull away. Then I just start sinning more, then I keep pulling away. It is a never ending cycle.
I remember what it felt like to have my heart in the right place. How these little things did not matter as much. I knew I was on the right track. I was able to love better, more, and those who are hard to love. When I lose sight of bringing him glory it all changes. I start doubting a lot of things but mostly I doubt that my saviour still loves me. And not only that but I also start doubting that others deserve that love.
But isn't that what this Love is all about. Love for those who do not deserve it. I am talking about those Christians who are still stuck in their sin. Or those who do pretty good most of the time, but inevitably fail. I am also talking about those people who do not know Christ.
I think that the best way to bring Glory to the Lord is to show His love to those who do not deserve it and who do not know it. That job of course only belongs to the holy spirit and those that he has called. He may have called you a LONG time ago and you have grown deeper and deeper in relationship with Him. He may have called you a LONG time ago but you are just now getting down the the nitty-gritty of your relationship with Him. He may have called you just yesterday. None of these time frames gives us an excuse to not show His love. We need to show his love to our closest friends or meanest strangers. We need to show his love to those who we think have no hope and/or those who we have tried to do so many times and they ignore. Christian/Non-Christian, young/old, anyone deserves to be shown love, because none of deserve God's love. Its not up us who to show His love to, its up to the Holy spirit and I am pretty sure that if he had it his way, it would be everyone :)
Now for those who happen to be reading this who do not know His love, you have a choice to make. I encourage you to make it now. If you do not know how to go about it, e-mail me or message me on FB. You can have this love too.
And for the rest of you, get to loving you
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