Where to start?

I try to stay away from this topic.  In all of my blogging I do not think I have talked about it once.  I may have written about aspects of it, but never have I given advice on the actual topic.  I am not expert.  I have been through a lot it in, and have come a far way in it.  But, by no means am I any expert or do I feel qualified to give advice on marriage.

But I have had this urge, itch, burn, whatever you want to call it to write this.  I actually prayed that if the Lord helped me fall asleep soon I would write it.  Five minuets later I was dreaming... Silly I know, but I had my answer.  So here I am.  Giving advice on a topic that I fail so miserably at every day.

I have written many blogs.  But I love to read other blogs so much more.  And I have ready a few on marriage.  A few have talked about how to change your marriage or make it more "Godly".  Some talk about how it is the mans responsibility to love their wives as the church first.  Men are supposed to take that first step.  Others have discussed how it is the women's responsibility to respect first.  Then the men will follow in their relationship with Christ.  Both are biblical, one found in Ephesians and one found in Philippins (I believe... I did not do all my research but it is found in that "area" of the bible :))

We each have our own responsibility in our marriages and they do have to start somewhere.  If your man is not loving you the way he should, we as wives still have the responsibility to respect our husbands.  Husbands, even if your wives do not respect you they way they should, you still have a responsibility to love your wives as Christ loves the church.

But, what if there was a different starting place?  A starting place on based on imperfect humans, but based on something or someone perfect?  What if we all started with Christ?  What if the real starting point was there and everything else followed?  We are to love because Christ loved first.  So I wonder if maybe we should start there.  Start with Christs' love for us and then work on the rest.  What if we love Christ first.

Then what?  We bask in Christ's love but what comes after that?  Well I think we have to respond to that love.  Respond in prayer, respond in spending more time in the word.  After we are filled with Him, I think it is then we will be more able to fulfill our roles as spouses.

I do not want any one to misunderstand me.  I know that life happens and we are sinners.  I know that the best laid plans will fall short.  I know that there is no one way to make a marriage work.  But there is one Person who can make a marriage work and work in a way that makes it AWESOME.  Since a marriage is supposed to a model of Chrit's love for us I really do think it was meant to be something pretty special.  But again, it is a union between two sinners so it can not be all that it was intended for.  But I do think that the more time each individual spends starting with Christ first, the stronger more amazing, more special any marriage can be.

So maybe try a diff starting point in your marriage.  Do not start with yourself, or expect your spouse to make the first move.  Focus on Christ then let him lead you in the rest of it.  Good luck :)