Who I Really Am

On July 9th 2011, I got to watch my sister get married.  It was a GREAT day and a beautiful wedding!

But not only was it those, it was a time of healing for me.  And since that day a time of rediscovery!

I was surprised when I actually looked at my thought processes behind some of my actions and how I acted, at how much I changed to fit someone else's mold.  For the first time in a long time I was myself.  I had fun.  I made a fool of myself and laughed about it.  I was not worried about what others would think, I just enjoyed my time and the people I was with. 

I tend to try to be perfect.  I used to just agree with someone when they would say something.  Think they were right because Iw as not smart enough to know.  Think that I had to be perfect in order for them to like me.  I could not sin or my God would be mad at me.

I realize, and this has been a long time coming, that I do not have to be perfect, but even more so I can be who I was created to be.  I am not longer a doormat, people pleaser, the Kristy who I was "supposed to be".  

I am so excited to see where this takes me.  I grow more and more into the Kristy I was created to be rather than the Kristy I thought I had to me.  For example, I have always loved the country.  Everything about it.  I had the time of my life when I was just sitting by the river with some friends.  I had stopped letting that be apart of who I was when I thought that I was supposed to live in the city for one reason or another.  I am no longer going to tell someone something just because they want to hear it.  I am not going to let people abuse their position in my life.  I am not going to agree with someone just because they are my friends.  I am going to search and learn the truth rather than just taking someone's word for it.

There are some things that will never change though.  I still love Jesus more than anything and strive everyday to learn more about Him.  I still think that the most important aspect to life is to love as Jesus did.  I will always strive to be the best mother that I can possibly be.  

There is sooooo much more that I want to say but for now I will just leave it as I am excited to see where this road will take me :D