What I Do Know

This has probably been one of the hardest, most revitalizing week of my life.

It started off with our meeting with the lawyer.  Then it went downhill from there.  A few major fights, some more lies told to me, some more nails nailed into a piece of wood.  I want to post on here all that has gone on so that those reading this can know just how much I have been hurt this last week.

But all of the pain that I have felt this last week pales in comparison to the anguish God must be feeling watching what is going on.  Not just with what Kane is doing, but when he looks at the way I behaved through it all.

I know what God's Word says, I know what He has told me, I what the Holy Spirit has shown me, but I still go against it and try to "fix" this my way.  When I read His Word, He shows me the same things time and time again.  Then I listen to sermons and not only does he confirm what I already knew, He also emphasizes His grace!  And then He shows me through the most innocent of children what he wants me to do "Wait on Jesus mommy!"  Those words came out of Kole's mouth today!  We were eating lunch and out of the blue he said that!

I do not know what He has in store for me and my son, or even Kane, for the next season in our lives.  But I do know that God is greater than any of our sins.  I do know what I can do:  Love God, Love others, strive to know him more, and give him all the glory in the mean time.  I can do what I can to make sure that Kole knows the Truth and is protected from lies and confusion.  And I can pray.

I will fail, but I will repent. I will feel pain, but I will not be depressed, I may be crushed, but I am not destroyed.  I may be a sinner, but I am His child.  I will obey His commands because I love Him.  He will be my everything, He will be my all, He will comfort me and I will and am full of the Joy and Peace that only comes from Him